Did you really just ask me that?

I already posted this on Facebook, so I know it is a bit redundant, but it is hilarious. Because it is so true. For some weird reason, having two (or more) babies born on the same day turns you into some kind of magnet for strangers with inappropriate questions. Now you must know, I was a nanny to triplets for 5 years before I had my own kids so as you can imagine, I've heard it all. Here are some of my favorites and the witty responses that popped into my head way after the fact.

**"What's the age difference?" Uhhhhh one minute?

**"Were you trying for twins?" I didn't know you could do that, but it sounds like a lot of work so probably not.

**"Oh, lucky you! Two for the price of one!" That theory would work if I only needed one car seat, crib, high chair, bouncy seat, etc. Oh wait, I did only have to pay for one c-section so I guess you're right.

**"Wow! Twins. You must be so busy. How do you do it all?" Robbie actually once told a lady, "Well I start by not talking to people I don't know."

**"Really? They're not identical? But they look identical." Do you want me to take off their diapers and show you how different they look?

**While going through customs with the triplets, the agent carefully examined their birth certificates and pointed at one of the kids and said, "October 2001, October 2001, October 2001...how come she is taller?" Ummmm BECAUSE THEY ARE DIFFERENT PEOPLE!!

**With Ben dressed head to toe in blue and Abby head to toe in pink, no matter what someone would always say, "Ooooohhhh. Two boys (or girls)!" Seriously? She has a bow!!!

**"Do twins run in your family?" They do now.

**"Did you get twins naturally or did you have help?" This comment always surprises me because yes, it is invasive and so many people ask it. Most of the time I don't even know the last name of the person asking. What they really mean is "was there something wrong with your womb or was it the inability of your husbands little swimmer to make it upstream?" Seriously people! Inappropriate!!

**Another variation on the above question: "Twins? Were you on drugs?" I am assuming they are asking about fertility medications but... Weird, right?

**"Oh you're so lucky. I've always wanted twins." Yeah. Lucky. More like insane.


**"My first one will only be one when my second one is born, that is almost the same as twins." No. No it's not. First of all, you had an entire year with just ONE baby! Second, I had two babies so close together by some freak of nature. Your issue has to do with not being smart enough to not make it happen. So not the same.

As bad as all of these things are, it is nothing compared to all of the comments I got while I was pregnant. I was about 45 minutes pregnant when I started showing and it only got worse from there.

**"How many babies you got in there?" If you must know, there are two. Now back off.

**In November, the superintendent came to speak at a staff meeting and at the end of the meeting when I stood up to leave, he said. "Whoa. Are you going to make it to Christmas?" I looked at him in the eye, said "I'm not due until the middle of February" and walked out the door.

**One night, while in the middle of my bed-rest stint, I broke the rules and got off the couch to go a block and a half down the street to rent a movie. As I waddled around trying to find something decent to watch two ladies looked at me and said, "Honey, you are REALLY pregnant!" Thanks. I hadn't noticed.

**"You belly button popped out, you must be almost done!" Number one, I am not a turkey. Number two, I will not be "done" for at least 4 more months.

**"You are so much bigger than when I saw you last week." Just what every girl longs to hear. Thanks.


Friends, remember me when you see a family with children who look "identical" or some poor sap that looks to be carrying a small village around in her belly. Remember that there is nothing you can say that we haven't heard before so do us all a favor and keep your mouth shut.

A Sunny Sunday with my Family

First of all, don't you wish you lived here? Seriously, does it get any better?

On nice days, we like to go down to the water front and walk on the dock. Sunday was sunny, so I asked the kids if they wanted to go down there. Abby wanted to take her babies in a stroller. My first instinct was to say no but I couldn't think of why not so I had to say, "Uh, I guess." Before I knew it, I heard the stroller bumping down the stairs and she had also packed up two baby carriers for Ben to carry and off we went.

When we got down there, we paused for a family photo.

Then we got on our boat coats, and headed down to the dock.

It doesn't get much cuter than this...

or maybe it does.

When we got to the end of the dock Abby took her babies out of the stroller and held them over the edge so they could see the water. Such a good mama.

I just love them both so much!!

Have you missed me?

Well sorry. But I've been busy. I mean crazy busy. After school trainings, teaching classes, meetings at church and oh yeah, don't forget about my job and those two kids I take care of on the rare occasion that I am home. It has been exhausting!! I think that things are finally slowing down for me and this is the time of year when there is a light at the end of the tunnel. (Can you say 72 more days?!?) But it hasn't just been things outside the home that have kept me busy. Since just before Christmas, about 2 and a half months ago, we have hosted TWELVE gatherings here at our house. Sheesh! No wonder I'm beat. Here's the run down:


Party #1: The Annual PLU Girls Christmas Party (27 people). This is a tradition that has been going on for more than a decade (I know, unbelievable, right?!) I am lucky to have such amazing friends and although it is hard to see each other often, the Christmas party brings us all together each year. Now that we have kids, they come too. The girls all draw names for a gift exchange and so do the kids. The husbands participate in a good ol' fashioned booze exchange. We have made many Christmas party memories over the years (DTR, anyone?) and I hope that it is a tradition that lasts forever. I love you girls!!

Party #2: A play date with my high school friends (16 people). Thanks to Facebook, we have reconnected. It has been fun to get together and let all of the kids play. This time the kids played upstairs, did holiday crafts and ate lunch. All in all, a successful play date except for the little guy who burned his hands on the wood stove and needed a trip to the E.R. I think it's about time for another one, don't you?

Party #3: Christmas Eve (13 people). This is a family tradition. My mom's birthday is Christmas Eve, so we always do a big family dinner, go to church, and come home for cake, ice cream and presents. Then we all spend the night under one roof so we can wake up to see what Santa left.

Party #4: Christmas Day (15 people). Pretty much a continuation of the Christmas Eve party. We have a big ol' breakfast and then dig into the mountain of presents. By the time we are done, it is time for lunch and everyone packs up to go see other families. Love, love, love our traditions!!

Party #5: Dinner with friends (16 people). Thanks to the birth of little Scotty, Megan's mom Val flew out to visit. We had a little dinner at our house (but of course Val cooked!!) so that everyone could see her before she went home.

Party #6: New Year's Eve (16 people). We played games like crazy people. Nuff said.

Party #7: Family Dinner (9 people). Every Sunday we eat dinner with Robbie's family, usually at his mom's house. Since Robbie wanted to cook a turkey we did it at our house.

Party #8: Firehouse Birthday Party (63 people). My theory on birthday parties is since I only have to do one per year, I better go big. Yeah, it was crazy but it sure was fun!

Party #9: Ben & Abby's Birthday Dinner (11 people). Their actual birthday. A dinner with family. Homemade pizza. Yummm!!

Party #10: My Dad's 60th Birthday Party (19 people). Friends and family I don't see often enough.

Party #11: Julie's Baby Shower (18 people). This was a fun gathering to help prepare for her new baby boy. Looking forward to meeting him!!

Party #12: My Long Lost Friends (11 people). I was feeling like I hadn't seen people for way too long so we invited some people for a relaxing night of catching up. Perfect!!

So there you have it. Eleven week, 12 parties, and (wait for it...) 234 people. I love it!! I have always loved having people over and now that I have the house for it, I can't get enough. But looking forward, my calendar is empty so let me know if you want to plan a party over here. I am already getting excited for summer. One word: Barbecue.

My (Completely Unsolicited) Advice

So I know no one really asked, but with all of my friends having babies (finally!!) I got to thinking. What things did I learn the hard way? What little tricks have turned into life savers? It wasn't too terribly long ago that my sweet four-year-olds entered this world and they sure have been busy teaching me how to be a parent. Since January 2007, I have had my Mother of the Year Award revoked on a number of occasions. In an effort to spare you the same heartache, I have compiled a list of helpful hints. So here you go. The top 10 things I think you need to know. 10. Everyone has an opinion. Your baby isn't dressed warmly enough. Your baby is too bundled up. Your baby should be __________________ by now. (You can fill in the blank with just about anything...sleeping through the night, potty trained, walking, admitted to an Ivy league school...) One thing that I figured out (way later than I should have) was that the only opinion that mattered was my own. Being a parent is hard and even harder if you are trying to please everyone else. So do what works for you, it's probably the right thing.

9. When you go to a restaurant with your baby and they bring you a high chair, turn it upside down to hold the car seat. This works much better than trying to balance the car seat on the top. No one told me this. I would like to take the time to publicly apologize to my children for the meals they spent hanging precariously over the table.

8. Keep extra clothes in the car at all times. For yourself. Take it from me. You never know when you will be puked on at a wedding that is a 90 minute drive from your house. Also extra diapers are important too because having your kid ride home completely naked is very very risky.

7. Answer all "when can I _____________?" questions with "When you are 5." We have been doing this since they first started talking and it has taken care of a lot of things for us. With their fifth birthday less than a year away we are prepping for a variety of new activities that they have been waiting a lifetime for like chewing gum, riding bikes, going to school and getting a puppy. And I am starting to think we should have said, "When you are 13."

6. Most pre schools begin registration in January. Nine months early. It is ridiculous. But if you don't know about it and you miss the first day, everything fills up and you get put on the waiting list. Or even worse than the waiting list, the PM class which is during your child's sacred nap. The lesson here is plan ahead. Waaaaaaaay ahead.

5. Three words. Books. On. Tape. After way too many long car rides with bored, fussy kids, I discovered that you can check out books on tape (cd really) from the library. I just load up the cd player before we leave and enjoy the silence in the back seat as I listen to find out what Brown Bear sees. So far, this has been an effective form of travel entertainment but I always have plan B: Benedryl.

4. If you are going to be out past bedtime, pack jammies. That way you can just put them right to bed when you get home. I promise you, this saves a lot of hassle.

3. Teach your kids how to tell time. Kind of. When our kids were almost two, we taught them what a 7 looked like. We drew a big one and pasted it on the wall above their clock. We covered the minutes on the clock so that they could only see the hour and taught them that they could call for us to get them up when the number on the clock matched the number on the wall. Oh yeah. We also set the clock back a half hour so now we don't have to ever get up before 7:30. This is a trick I learned from the people I used to nanny for and I will be forever thankful that I get to "sleep in".

2. You already know that I vacuum my kids' rooms while they are sleeping and that might be a bit over kill, but don't be afraid to make noise while they are sleeping. Make phone calls, watch t.v., talk in a normal voice. Be loud while they are learning to sleep because it sure beats tip toeing around for the next 18 years.

1. Parenting is hard work and you will make mistakes but most of them won't matter. Raise your kids they way you want to. If someone does something that you think might work for you, try it!! If someone tells you to do something that you don't want to do, forget about it!! Have fun with your kids because the time will go faster than you can ever imagine.