Did you really just ask me that?

I already posted this on Facebook, so I know it is a bit redundant, but it is hilarious. Because it is so true. For some weird reason, having two (or more) babies born on the same day turns you into some kind of magnet for strangers with inappropriate questions. Now you must know, I was a nanny to triplets for 5 years before I had my own kids so as you can imagine, I've heard it all. Here are some of my favorites and the witty responses that popped into my head way after the fact.

**"What's the age difference?" Uhhhhh one minute?

**"Were you trying for twins?" I didn't know you could do that, but it sounds like a lot of work so probably not.

**"Oh, lucky you! Two for the price of one!" That theory would work if I only needed one car seat, crib, high chair, bouncy seat, etc. Oh wait, I did only have to pay for one c-section so I guess you're right.

**"Wow! Twins. You must be so busy. How do you do it all?" Robbie actually once told a lady, "Well I start by not talking to people I don't know."

**"Really? They're not identical? But they look identical." Do you want me to take off their diapers and show you how different they look?

**While going through customs with the triplets, the agent carefully examined their birth certificates and pointed at one of the kids and said, "October 2001, October 2001, October 2001...how come she is taller?" Ummmm BECAUSE THEY ARE DIFFERENT PEOPLE!!

**With Ben dressed head to toe in blue and Abby head to toe in pink, no matter what someone would always say, "Ooooohhhh. Two boys (or girls)!" Seriously? She has a bow!!!

**"Do twins run in your family?" They do now.

**"Did you get twins naturally or did you have help?" This comment always surprises me because yes, it is invasive and so many people ask it. Most of the time I don't even know the last name of the person asking. What they really mean is "was there something wrong with your womb or was it the inability of your husbands little swimmer to make it upstream?" Seriously people! Inappropriate!!

**Another variation on the above question: "Twins? Were you on drugs?" I am assuming they are asking about fertility medications but... Weird, right?

**"Oh you're so lucky. I've always wanted twins." Yeah. Lucky. More like insane.


**"My first one will only be one when my second one is born, that is almost the same as twins." No. No it's not. First of all, you had an entire year with just ONE baby! Second, I had two babies so close together by some freak of nature. Your issue has to do with not being smart enough to not make it happen. So not the same.

As bad as all of these things are, it is nothing compared to all of the comments I got while I was pregnant. I was about 45 minutes pregnant when I started showing and it only got worse from there.

**"How many babies you got in there?" If you must know, there are two. Now back off.

**In November, the superintendent came to speak at a staff meeting and at the end of the meeting when I stood up to leave, he said. "Whoa. Are you going to make it to Christmas?" I looked at him in the eye, said "I'm not due until the middle of February" and walked out the door.

**One night, while in the middle of my bed-rest stint, I broke the rules and got off the couch to go a block and a half down the street to rent a movie. As I waddled around trying to find something decent to watch two ladies looked at me and said, "Honey, you are REALLY pregnant!" Thanks. I hadn't noticed.

**"You belly button popped out, you must be almost done!" Number one, I am not a turkey. Number two, I will not be "done" for at least 4 more months.

**"You are so much bigger than when I saw you last week." Just what every girl longs to hear. Thanks.


Friends, remember me when you see a family with children who look "identical" or some poor sap that looks to be carrying a small village around in her belly. Remember that there is nothing you can say that we haven't heard before so do us all a favor and keep your mouth shut.