If you are ever in need of a good laugh, I recommend that you show up at the Y locker room just as swimming lessons is letting out. Before you start thinking I am some sort of weirdo, let me explain. Picture this...Open style locker room shower with 5 showers, anywhere between 5 and 9 kids who are freezing from coming out of the pool and into the cool air, and their mothers. Now you may think that they kids would be the funniest part of this equation, but no. It is us, the moms, trying to get our kids shampooed and rinsed, all while staying dry. In my 4 years of direct research I have come to find out that this is pretty much an impossible task. On any given evening, you can see clean, dry, happy kids all dressed in their pajamas walking out with a grumbly, grumpy, wet mom. While I have yet to come out completely dry, I have been perfecting my technique lately, and I have found that you have to have a strategy.
Best case scenario, your kid is the first one into the locker room. I always rush my kids in because this allows for two important advantages. Number 1: the opportunity you choose your shower. Take it from me, you do NOT want the one in the corner. Number 2: the opportunity to turn on your kids shower without having to dodge the spray from the other 4. On the off chance that I am not the first mama out of the gate, I have taken to just having my kids turn on their own shower. This adds significant time to the overall showering experience because neither one of them is really quite tall enough to do it easily and it takes a number of adjustments to get the temperature to both of their liking, but it is worth it because my chances of getting soaked go way down.
Once they are in the shower, the fun really begins. There are two types of moms: the ones that sit back and wait patiently for their kids to be done and the ones that stand outside the shower and yell directives. I am sorry to say that I am the second type. Mainly because if I didn't tell them what to do, we would still be there (it is now 4 hours after our session ended) while Abby got "warmed up." I don't know if it is too loud in the shower, or if they are too busy talking to their "friends" (you know the kids in their class that they spend 25 minutes with twice a week?) but none of them can seem to hear what we are telling them. The conversation sounds something like this: "Abby, come over here so I can wash your hair," "Jeffery, wash the soap off your hair," "Ben, pick your swimsuit up off the floor...Abby please come here," "Jefferey, tip your head into the water," "Lilly, time to get out," "Ben, don't forget to use that soap," "Jeffery. Head. Water. Now!"
Every once in awhile, someone has to actually walk into the shower to help their kid turn off the shower or rinse their hair and it is never pretty. It is impossible to go in and come out dry and more likely than not, the poor sap is wet at least up to her knees. This is most entertaining if the mom has come directly from work and is in some kind of nice clothes and heels. I can't help but laugh every time as we all dance around the water and glance awkwardly at each other to see if anyone saw the shower spray in our face when we turned it on.
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