Seriously. Sometimes I can't believe the things that come out of my mouth. (Side note: sometimes I can't believe the things that my kids say either. Exhibit A: As I am writing this, the kids are upstairs in the bath and I just overheard Ben say, "I'm shavin'. I'm shavin'. I'm shavin' like a rock star." What?!!? I don't even know what that means...but Abby must because she is cracking up.)
Anyway, back to me and the unbelievable things that I find myself saying. Like tonight, as the kids were unloading the dishwasher and I hear uncontrollable giggling (ALWAYS a bad sign in this house) and I look over to see Ben with no pants on being chased by his sister who is swatting him with a spatula. To which I said, "Ummmm, you're going to need pants on to unload the dishwasher." And then the spatula landed in the drawer with all of the other spatulas so I said, "Annnnnnnd now you guys need to wash the spatulas." Come on, people!!
Living with two 6-year-olds is often quite entertaining but the stuff they come up with can be puzzling at times. Friends, I give you some quotes from my career as a mother:
"Please stop squirting toothpaste directly into your brother's mouth."
"No you may not eat Peeps for breakfast."
"Next time you should probably take your socks off BEFORE you get in the shower."
"Did you sleep in your goggles all night long?"
"How did you forget to put on shoes? What are you going to do now that we are at the store??"
"You're going to need to put some clothes on before the friends get here."
"You can't have dinner unless you go waterskiing twice today." (This is followed by screaming, skiing, and kids yelling from the middle of the lake "Can I eat dinner now?" What? We've already established that I'm not Mother of the Year.)
"You might want to consider putting on some pants for church." (Naked is a big theme around here.)
"If you keep licking flour off the counter you won't be able to keep making cookies with us."
"What part of 'please clean up your room' made you think that I wanted you attempt to use every Lego we own for a single sculpture?"
"You really should ask permission before you go around kissing people."
"A swimsuit and rain boots is an interesting outfit choice for our trip to Costco."
These are all things I have said to my children. Except the last one...that was my husband. Just kidding. It was Abby. But I bet you have an awesome picture of Robbie in your head right now. Pushing a cart full of toilet paper and chicken in just his swim trunks and a pair of boots. And if you didn't, you do now. You're welcome.
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